De-escalate Neighbor Confrontations

This week there was a posting on a neighborhood listserv I follow that created quite a response. A woman asked the community how to deal with a noisy neighbor. She has new neighbors and she was complaining that they are loud and their children are noisy. The responses were both interesting and alarming. Some people suggested that she check with the town for the local noise laws. Others cited possible sources of ordinances that might support her case. Then came what I thought of as a shocking suggestion: call the police and Child Protective Services. This drastic measure was casually thrown out as a possible solution, without any thought of what the consequences might ensue from alerting authorities to a neighbor dispute. I waited anxiously to see what the response would be to that suggestion. I was relieved to see that some people were appalled but, more importantly, I was delighted when my next-door neighbor started a train of responses by suggesting she should have a conversation with the neighbors and try to work things out. (This is the same neighbor who stopped by to say hello when I moved in.) This suggestion was enthusiastically supported by several other people before someone thought to call a halt to what was getting to be a heated online discussion. How quickly this dispute escalated to suggest drastic measures! Studies have shown that neighbor conflicts are more likely to be resolved by friendly approaches than hostile confrontations.