Tag Archives: mediation

DEAL MAKING VS. MEDIATION

We’ve heard a lot about Donald Trump’s deal making skills lately and how he plans, as President, to make huge trade deals that will benefit the United States. However, after all this talk about how Trump will make these successful deals, I am left with the feeling that Trump is only interested in a deal that gives him what he wants with no regard to the needs of the other party. As an alternative to “deal making,” mediation provides an environment where there is an equal balance of power so that parties can reach a mutually agreeable resolution.

Deal making and mediation are similar since they both provide a process in which parties can reach an agreement or resolution. However, there are significant differences in how these procedures achieve this goal. The deal making/negotiation procedure tends to focus on how you can get your opponent to agree with your terms. That would be a successful agreement. On the other hand, mediation, with the help of trained mediators, encourages parties to have an open and honest conversation so that everyone understands the positions and underlying concerns being expressed at the table. Once that is achieved, the parties can then become creative and discuss a resolution that benefits both parties. A mediated resolution does not always mean that there is a compromise where a party has to give up something to reach an agreement. Rather, through mediation, the parties agree to terms that they both believe give them the best resolution, thereby establishing a win-win situation.

Unlike negotiation, mediation provides a process where parties are more likely to feel like they both got a good deal. Walking away from the table with that feeling can only ensure that the parties will comply with the terms of the agreement. More importantly, such good feelings will preserve the parties’ relationship, whether they are family members or business associates.

Ruth Weinreb

Parent/Teen Mediation: Why Kids Return to the Table by Gail Goodman

I enjoy mediating with teens and parents. The cases are sometimes referred by social services or probation, or sometimes a school counselor or social worker will recommend trying mediation. Initially I made the assumption that any young person coming in who has been referred by an official agency, some under the threat that this was the last chance before being taken out of the home, would come in intending to comply with the terms. This is not always the case.

After greeting the parents and teen, I explain the mediation process and the ground rules and tell them that there is a commitment to attend a one hour session for 4 consecutive weeks. The parents generally agree but the teen will usually, and sullenly, only agree to see how it goes. There are no guarantees except for the first session. Yet at the end of all those first sessions, they all agree to come back; that’s a 100% retention rate. This isn’t to say that every mediation resolved all the conflicts or necessarily ended ‘successfully’, but just having everyone return every week was something of a victory. What made them agree? What changed their attitude? Here’s what I got from some of the feedback and my observations. Continue reading Parent/Teen Mediation: Why Kids Return to the Table by Gail Goodman

Second Guessing the Judge by Gail Goodman

So you want your day in court? You feel someone is taking advantage of you and you’re entitled to see a judge. Understandable but not necessarily smart. I had a case in small claims court that illustrates that all too well. (Not that there aren’t many more cases that I could use as an example. This example extends to other types of cases that could be litigated.) The case was a landlord/tenant case. The parties initially went before the judge. The landlord, quite confidently presented his side to the judge, citing the research he used from the internet to prove his case. He didn’t doubt for a minute that he was right, until the judge corrected him on the law. As with other types of research into technical issues on the web, there is a context and additional information that professionals know, whereas the layperson is apt to misinterpret or make a decision based on partial facts. (This also applies to self-diagnosing from a medical website. Before you make plans for your funeral, check with a specialist to see if your diagnosis is correct.) The landlord was not feeling quite so confident now. The tenants also felt they had the law on their side but when the judge pressed them to at least try mediation first, they reluctantly agreed. Continue reading Second Guessing the Judge by Gail Goodman